McElderry Books Publishing 5 Star ARC Review: The Way I Used To Be (Amber Smith)

Hardback Edition, 384 pages

Expected publication: March 22nd 2016 by Margaret K. McElderry Books

Eden was always good at being good. Starting high school didn’t change who she was. But the night her brother’s best friend rapes her, Eden’s world capsizes.
What was once simple, is now complex. What Eden once loved—who she once loved—she now hates. What she thought she knew to be true, is now lies. Nothing makes sense anymore, and she knows she’s supposed to tell someone what happened but she can’t. So she buries it instead. And she buries the way she used to be.
Told in four parts—freshman, sophomore, junior, and senior year. 

Amazon * B & N  * Indigo

Amber Smith grew up in Buffalo, NY and now lives in Charlotte, NC with her two dogs. After graduating from art school with a BFA in Painting, she earned her MA in Art History. When she’s not writing, she is working as a curator and art consultant. She has also written on the topics of art history and modern and contemporary art. The Way I Used to Be is her first novel.

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So I saw a lot of people talking about The Way I Used To Be and I kept reading rave reviews so I knew I had to check it out. I opened this book and read the first chapter and I did not close the book until I had devoured every..single...page. I read the book from cover to acknowledgements in one sitting. I was completely captivated by Eden's story, her struggle to survive, and how she attempted to deal with the pain that her sexual assault caused. The first paragraph in the book grabbed me and from there on I could not put it down.

 "I don't know a lot of things. I don't know why I didn't hear the door click shut. Why I didn't lock the damn door to begin with. Or why it didn't register that something was wrong--so mercilessly wrong-- when I felt the mattress shift under his weight. Why I didn't scream when  I opened my eyes and saw him crawling between my sheets. Or why I didn't try to fight him when I still stood a chance."

There is so much raw emotion and heart-breaking issues throughout this entire book. I had so many "feels" while reading this book. I felt sad, angry, mad, and then I would feel happy, hopeful, and at some times.... relieved. 

Eden story is full of so much pain and anguish. She is secretly hurting so bad and acts out in different ways  just begging for someone to see...for someone to ask...for someone to care and yet no one pays attention..no one notices how bad she is hurting inside. 

The Way I Used To Be should be read by each and every teenager and young adult. The issues in this book are so real and so many young people are faced with both sides of this story and should see the effects that rape has on not only the victim but everyone around them. I searched for some advice/help that I could post along with my review and I found some great information on the website Rainn.org. 

It’s not always easy to know what to say when someone tells you they’ve been sexually assaulted, especially when that person is a family member, friend, or loved one. If you’re looking for information on how to support a child, click here. Consider the following ways of showing support:

• Listen. Be there. Communicate without judgment.
• If the survivor seeks medical attention or plans to report, offer to be there. Your presence can offer the support they need.
• Encourage the survivor to get support. Share resources like the National Sexual Assault Hotline and online.rainn.org, but realize that only they can make the decision to get help.
• Be patient. Remember, there is no timetable for recovering from trauma. Avoid putting pressure on them to engage in activities they aren’t ready to do yet.
• Encourage them to practice good self-care during this difficult time.
• If someone you care about is considering suicide, learn the warning signs, and offer help and support. For more information about suicide prevention please visit the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline or call 800.273.TALK (8255) any time, day or night.
• To search for your local sexual assault service provider, click here.

It’s important that you take care of yourself, too. You can call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673) or visit online.rainn.org and receive confidential support

Needless to say, this book truly touched me and I absolutely loved it...the only problem I had with the book was when I read the last page...I didn't want it to be over.... I wanted to continue to read about Eden and her family and friends and how they faced the challenges ahead. I really hope that the author, Amber Smith, continues writing after this amazing book because her writing is mesmerizing and her characters are written in a way that really makes you connect with them and feel what they are feeling. I absolutely recommend this devastatingly beautiful book....

**References were taken from www.rainn.org**

**The quotes from this book have been taken from an Advanced Reading Copy and are subject to change when the final book is printed. Please refer to the final, finished copy for exact quotes!**

**I want to say Thank You to McElderry Books for the opportunity to review this book!!**

5 Star ARC Review: Of Metal and Wishes (Sarah Fine)

Hardcover, First Edition, 321 pages
Published August 5th 2014 by Margaret K. McElderry Books

There are whispers of a ghost in the slaughterhouse where sixteen-year-old Wen assists her father in his medical clinic—a ghost who grants wishes to those who need them most. When one of the Noor, men hired as cheap factory labor, humiliates Wen, she makes an impulsive wish of her own, and the Ghost grants it. Brutally.
Guilt-ridden, Wen befriends the Noor, including their outspoken leader, a young man named Melik. At the same time, she is lured by the mystery of the Ghost and learns he has been watching her... for a very long time.
As deadly accidents fuel tensions within the factory, Wen must confront her growing feelings for Melik, who is enraged at the sadistic factory bosses and the prejudice faced by his people at the hand of Wen’s, and her need to appease the Ghost, who is determined to protect her against any threat—real or imagined. She must decide whom she can trust, because as her heart is torn, the factory is exploding around her... and she might go down with it.

Amazon * B & N * Kindle Copy 

I’m the author of several books for teens, including Of Metal and Wishes (McElderry/Simon & Schuster) and its sequel, Of Dreams and Rust (coming in August 2015), and the Guards of the Shadowlands YA urban fantasy series (Skyscape/Amazon Children’s Publishing). I’m also the co-author (with Walter Jury) of two YA sci-fi thrillers published by Putnam/Penguin: Scan and its sequel Burn (which will be published in 2015). My first adult urban fantasy romance novel, Marked, will be published in January 2015 by 47North/Amazon Publishing, with the sequel, Claimed, coming in March 2015. When I’m not writing, I’m psychologizing. Sometimes I do both at the same time. The results are unpredictable.

Website * Twitter * Facebook 

So first of all...I have loved each and every book that Sarah Fine has co-authored or written. Every story she writes is so full of heart and suspense. I find myself completely intertwined in every story......SO....when I found out Sarah had written a new novel called Of Metal And Wishes that was supposed to be a re-telling of The Phantom of The Opera...then of course I had to get my hands on it!!!!! and I was not disappointed. Of Metal and Wishes is a phenomenally written YA Romance and Suspense with a touch of Horror added in. Keep in mind that this book is not for the faint of heart....it is close to being in the adult genre in my opinion and this only makes it better!

“So I take a few steps into the dark hallway, until the light around me turns from gray yellow to brown black, stopping before I sink into inky obsidian darkness. I’ve never been afraid of the dark, though now I wonder if I should be.”

Of Metal and Wishes is the story of Wen and her life at Gochan One, which is the slaughterhouse where her father works as the clinic doctor. Wen is her father's assistant and they moved to Gochan One after her mother passed away from cancer and her father could no longer afford the middle class life. Wen and her father are honorable, kind people who treat every person at the slaughterhouse regardless of class level. Her father, Guiren, is a kind man who is just trying to survive in the horrible world while trying his best to protect his daughter, Wen. 

One day a new set of workers arrives at Gochan One called The Noor. The Noor are poor citizens who have come to Gochan One in hopes of making enough money to help their families back home and rebuild their lands.... but little do they know....the plant manager, Mugo, has different plans for the Noor. Mugo is a horrific man who steals money from the workers and when they begin to lose their usefulness he sends them off to even worse labor camps. 

One of the Noor is a young man named Melik. Wen finds herself immediately attracted to Melik and the feeling is mutual...Melik and Wen's love story is beautiful and develops over time which is so much better than "insta-love." 

“Something inside me has shifted, and now part of me is not my own.”

After spending time with some of the Noor people...Wen begins to realize that the portrayal of the Noor has been completely incorrect....All the Noor want is to live in peace and be able to feed their families. 

Amongst the people of Gochan One there lives a legend....a legend who has been named "Ghost." Ghost is worshiped and the people build him an altar where they can leave "wishes" for the Ghost and he chooses which ones he wants to answers. Sometimes the wishes are good and noble and sometimes they are bad and can be hurtful to others. Wen has never believed in the Ghost before....until something happens to Wen that makes her want to get revenge on the ones who hurt her...so she makes a wish at the alter....and the Ghost grants it......

This begins the suspense-filled horror story Of Metal and Wishes....There is so much action and intensity through-out this entire book. I found myself flipping pages late into the night just to find out what happened next. Wen is beautiful and young....and in a factory full of men...well....this could be a bad thing..if you get my drift. BUT there are lots of people that take care of Wen and defend her when you least expect it. I absolutely loved this book and all the characters. Each character is special and unique and will do things that just grab at your heartstrings. There were some I absolutely loved and some I hated so much I wanted to scream.....

If you have never read a Sarah Fine book....this is a great one to start!!!! Get ready....Sarah Fine takes you on a intense, surprise-filled thrill ride with Of Metals and Wishes.....

**The quotes from this book have been taken from an Advanced Reading Copy and are subject to change when the final book is printed. Please refer to the final, finished copy for exact quotes!**

**I want to say Thank You to  Margaret K. McElderry Books/Simon Teen for the opportunity to review this book!!**

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Waiting On Wednesday: The Storyspinner (Becky Wallace)

Waiting on Wednesday is a weekly event that is hosted by Jill at 

Breaking the Spine

and spotlights upcoming releases that we're eagerly anticipating.

Hardback, 432 pages
Expected publication: March 3rd 2015 by Margaret K. McElderry

Drama and danger abound in this fantasy realm where dukes play a game for the throne, magical warriors race to find the missing heir, and romance blossoms where it is least expected.
In a world where dukes plot their way to the throne, a Performer’s life can get tricky. And in Johanna Von Arlo’s case, it can be fatal. Expelled from her troupe after her father’s death, Johanna is forced to work for the handsome Lord Rafael DeSilva. Too bad they don’t get along. But while Johanna’s father’s death was deemed an accident, the Keepers aren’t so sure.
The Keepers, a race of people with magical abilities, are on a quest to find the princess—the same princess who is supposed to be dead and whose throne the dukes are fighting over. But they aren’t the only ones looking for her. And in the wake of their search, murdered girls keep turning up—girls who look exactly like the princess, and exactly like Johanna.
With dukes, Keepers, and a killer all after the princess, Johanna finds herself caught up in political machinations for the throne, threats on her life, and an unexpected romance that could change everything. 

WHAT BOOK ARE YOU 

LOOKING FORWARD TO IN 2015??